“Wasp Eye used to know a stunning 6ft 2in blonde girl, who he was trying to date. One night, at a party he finally managed to woo her, and she agreed to go back to his place.

Our hero was delighted but had no condoms – fortunately, the girl said that as she was sober she would drive home and pick some up, then go back to his.

She drove off into the night, and he never saw her again – well, he did, but he didn’t recognise her because – in his own words…

‘Her car slipped on black ice and hit a tree, and she died. The paramedics got there quick enough to revive her, but the methods they used were pioneering and untested and she woke up as a 4ft 11in black woman.’”

(thanks to @weaselpipe)